


How do I Live?

by Don_M



Category: Julie and the Phantoms
Genre: M/M, im sorry, super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27242512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Don_M/pseuds/Don_M
Summary: Luke sings to Reggie in the hospital.
Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie
Comments: 12
Kudos: 97





	How do I Live?

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s pretend this song was recorded in 95 not 97. Sorry this is so sad, this is your last warning.

Reggie was the first to run to the bathroom to throw up. Luke had thought it was stage fright at first—he'd be lying if he hadn't puked before a show—but then both he and Alex started to feel it too. And soon, they too were running into the mens bathroom backstage. 

Luke, gasping after he was sure he had thrown up all the contents of his stomach, saw Reggie slump to the bathroom floor. 

"Reg." He nudged the boy with his shoe and he didn't respond. "Hey, Reg, talk to me."

Reggie didn't move. 

Lukes head was suddenly spinning, his vision blurring as he found himself falling to the floor. 

"Luke?" He heard Alex say just before everything went black. 

——

Luke opened his eyes and found himself looking at the ceiling of an ambulance. 

"Luke? You with us?" Alex asked, reaching a hand over. Luke squeezed it. 

"Yeah." Luke blinked his eyes a couple of times. "Yeah what happened?"

"I think it was the hot dogs. Something was really wrong with them." Alex tried to laugh, but it came out more of a wheeze. 

"Reg...?" Luke groaned out. 

"He still hasn't woken up."

Luke turned his head, seeing Reggie still unconscious with an IV in his arm. "Reg..." Luke tried to sit up but felt hands push him back down. 

"You need to rest." The paramedic spoke to him.

Luke felt his eyes close again. 

——

"Luke?" He heard his mother say as his eyes opened.

"Mom?" He sat up, feeling stronger already. 

"Oh Luke!" He was tackled in a hug from her, and his dad wrapped his arms from the other side. "We are so sorry. So so sorry. If we would have been there-"

"It doesn't matter." Luke said. "You're here now."

"Wheres Alex and Reggie?"

His parents shared a look that made his stomach drop. 

His mother sat on his hospital bed. "Alex was discharged yesterday. You've been asleep for a day." She grabbed his hand. "Reggie hasn't woken up yet." 

"Where is he?" 

"Luke you have to stay in bed." His father said. "We've been checking up on him, don't worry." 

—

The next day Alex and Bobby walked through the door to his room, Alex with acoustic guitar in hand. "I thought you wouldn't want to go more than a day without it." 

Luke gave a small smile, and let it fade. "How's Reggie?"

Bobby and Alex both gave a sigh. Bobby stepped forward. "He's still asleep."

"Is he going to get better?" Luke said, fear choking him from his breath. 

"I-" Alex trailed off. "We don't know." 

Luke felt tears form in his eyes. 

—

Luke was discharged not long after that conversation, but Alex and Bobby had both gone home by then. 

Luke's first instinct was to go to Reggie, but his parents insisted that he dress himself first and not run down the hallway in his hospital gown. Reluctantly, he pulled on a sleeveless t-shirt and his jeans, and grabbed his guitar of course. 

He thought he would be so happy to see Reggie, hat he'd bust in and he'd miraculously be awake and full of life but when he got to the door he saw him. He was laying in the bed, his chest rising and falling slowly. 

He felt his parents hands on his shoulders. "We'll give you a moment." And with that they walked away. 

Luke inhaled and walked in. He pulled a chair beside Reggie. 

"Hey Reg." Luke said, feeling stupid like he was talking to himself. "I hope you can hear me." He reached out and gave his hand a squeeze. "Because I'm going to play you some songs."

Luke grabbed his guitar and played whatever came to his mind. He played an acoustic version of Now or Never, Crooked Teeth, even Unsaid Emily. He even played around with a song called Bright that he was currently writing. 

Finally, after an hour of him playing absentmindedly with his guitar, he heard the smallest voice above the rhythm he was playing. "Luke.." 

"Reg!" Luke snapped his attention to the boy. He was clearly very weak. 

His face was pale, his eyes and cheeks hallowed, breathing shallow. 

"Hey... can... can you keep playing?" Reggie asked. 

"Yeah, yeah sure." Luke grabbed his guitar. "Hey Reggie, I know this isn't really the time but I was supposed to do this after our gig at the Orpheum... but... anyway... when you get out of here do you want to... uh... go on a date with me?" Luke smiled. 

Reggie held out his hand and Luke took it. "Yeah. If I get out of here."

"When." Luke corrected. 

"When." Reggie agreed. 

"Come on, let me play you something."

"Do you mind if I close my eyes? I'm just having a hard time keeping them open."

"Of course Reg." Luke said, giving him a kiss on the cheek, earning a small smile from the boy. 

Luke strummed a aimless tune for a while, but then he eventually went into a song. He wasn't even sure why he started this song, he wasn't even sure the guys knew he listened to music like it. But he did anyway, because it communicated his feelings for Reggie perfectly. 

"How do I get through one night without you?" He began.   
"If I had to live without you  
What kind of life would that be?

"Oh, I, I need you in my arms, need you to hold  
You're my world, my heart, my soul and if you ever leave  
Baby you would take away everything good in my life  
And tell me now

"How do I live without you? I want to know  
How do I breathe without you if you ever go?  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

"Without you there'd be no sun in my sky  
There would be no love in my life  
There'd be no world left for me

Luke looked up from his fingers to see the boy he's loved since as long as he could remember look as if he were sleeping peacefully, all but the fingers tapping along to the rhythm. 

"And I, baby, I don't know what I would do  
I'd be lost if I lost you, if you ever leave  
Baby, you would take away everything real in my life  
And tell me now

"How do I live without you? I want to know  
How do I breathe without you if you ever go?  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh -" Luke was cut off by the continuous monotone sound of the heart rate monitor Reggie was hooked up to. His fingers no longer tapped to the beat. "-how- how- do I- live?" Sobs rocked his chest as he squeaked the last of the lyrics out. 

"Reg..." he grabbed his hand, but was pulled out of the room by his parents. "No! He needs me! Reg!"

His mother pulled him into a forceful hug and turned him away from the room as nurses ran in. 

"How... do I..." was all he could manage to get out of his mouth as he was hugged by his mother.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed it. I have others that I’m working on too but none of them are this sad.


End file.
